By Irina

Tina Fey Twitter: What would be a funny name for a garbage man? Check mine, Add Yours.

I follow Tina Fey on Twitter: @TinaFey

I couldn't help it when Tina asked, "What would be a funny name for a garbage man?"

Bellow are My Top 9 Names for a Garbage Man. You can post yours in the comments. LOL

1. bull comber
2. white trash man
3. refusenik
4. rubbishnik
5. boloney scraper
6. hooey hoverer
7. trashilicious man
8. poopier
9. poopymon

Enjoy! And don't forget to post yours in the comments bellow.

What Would Jesus Do? -- My Sketch for Just_The_Funny Comedy Sketch Writing Class

I am taking a comedy writing class at Just the Funny, Miami Improv theater. I guess I am posting it here, so I can laugh at those my early sketches when I later improve and write much better. There is always room for improvement. Feel free to laugh and leave your comments bellow....
 

 
(Knock on the door.)

Mr. (looking in his notes) Jesus, (flashing his ID badge) I am an IRS officer, can I come in?
I am here to audit your IRS returns for the last (ummm) let me see, 2000 years?

You don't mind if I munch on something.. My lunch time, you know.. (chewing) while I am auditing you?

What did you say? You didn't file any stinking IRS tax return?

Don't worry about it. If you didn't file it, our audit department created one for you, so we can subsequently audit it. We need to generate some controversial returns, so we can keep busy.. you know... bad times for everyone.

So, let's start. Mr. Jesus.(while munching)

Your social security number here is 00-000-0001 Is that correct? What? Speak louder. You don't have any stinking social security number? Is that so? (smiling sympathetically) Let me put it this way, Mr. Jesus. Don't fight it. You are better off if you have one, really.. Otherwise we have to throw you out of the country as an illegal element, I mean.. .. illegal alien. You don't want to be thrown out, do you, Mr. Jesus? Out  of our beautiful country, the land of the free? (keep munching).

And oh, OK. Here it said, Mr. Jesus (with his mouth full pointing into the paper), that you are filing as self-employed AS Jesus, as a tax-exempt non-profit?  Ueeee.. Jesus!! Mr. Jesus who do you think you are?

Oh, by the way do you have any ranch salad dressing, that I can put on this stale chicken sandwich that I picked up on my way  up here from  a dumpster that is near you condo elevator? Ah? No? Too bad.. I love ranch salad dressing.. I put it on everything, even into my Cuban coffee.

But OK, Mr. Jesus. Let's move along. We have 2000 years of audits to do. Do you think we can finish today? If not, I can come back... I don't mind, but make sure that tomorrow you buy me that ranch salad dressing... It will make the whole auditing so much smoooothher...

So, here you claim two deductions for medical expenses, Mr. Jesus. One for an acupuncture and another for a Hialeah-based Cuban voodoo-healer? Both for some open wound treatments on your wrists and (in disbelief ) on your feet too from long rusty nails that have been hammered into your feet and wrist incessantly by mean and plain stupid folk...

Oh Jesus (disapprovingly), Mr. Jesus, such a long cumbersome deduction raises a red flag..

Here,  let me ask you this, (poses) Mr. Jesus, was this incident ever documented? And if it was, where was it documented? Do you have any records? And as for these two outlandish treatments, clearly, Mr. Jesus.  Seriously, look, acupuncture is a clearly controversial treatment. We can't allow that. A voodoo by a Cuban healer , might be a go, but if only you've have had it over a lunch. Then you could deduct it as a business expense, a client entertainment of sorts, but certainly not as a medical expense, Mr. Jesus. Get it?

(screaming) Mr. Jesus...

Where are  you going, Mr. Jesus? I didn't finish reviewing your returns, yet. And.. umm..  I have half of my sandwich left. You going where? Jump off your balcony? What did you say? You don't have time to waste on one IRS moron when the future of entire humanity is at stake????

You are going to do what? Jump off, off this balcony, so you can return to Heaven and manage humanity at large? And what else? What? Push the time line back and try to rewrite US history so that IRS would never happen?

(screams...) Oh, Jesus!! Mr. Jesus. You don't make any sense. (mumbling to himself) A delirium, obviously. It's expected...  That happens a lot on IRS audits. People go insane, plain dead sometimes. And that's fine with us.

Because, you know what? We gotcha anyway! You wanna, jump, jump. Mr. Jesus, exercise you right. We'll file accordingly. Death, Mr. Jesus will not free you from your taxes.

 (Yelling down, as he looks down on flying down Jesus...)

 As soon as you hit the ground...  Mr. Jesus, Do you hear me?.. as soon as you hit the ground,  your estate taxes will be due, Mr. Jesus, do you hear me? Where should I send the estate tax paperwooooorkkk??????? 

(Black out.)

Miami, South Florida: Personal PR today. What I do and what you can do.

Live your opinion in the comments or call Irina at 786-301-2456.

Here is my illustrious background. Many years ago I was a fashion model, then I spent years working in PR and now I am a full time event entertainer. I perform as a balloon artist, twisting balloon art at upscale events, mostly in Miami, South Florida.

The other day, someone asked me how to get a great job in fashion. My short answer is use personal PR.

Today, personal PR is easier than ever. Start a blog if you don't have one. If fashion is your life, so I am sure you ARE an Expert and have a lot to offer, as far as fresh opinion on what is going on in fashion. If you want to get a job at a specific fashion house, start writing about that specific house on your blog. I know cases when people where "discovered" through their blogs and offered jobs.  

As an example, I get very exciting event bookings because of my blog, so personal PR works!   But once you have a few pages of your blog that clear shows who you are and want you are looking for, don't just wait to be discovered.

Pitch, pitch yourself to the prospective employers and the media always with the link to your blog.   Use this LinkedIn, FaceBook and Twitter to find people who work for those companies you want to work for, make personal connection, pitch yourself. 

You can even write a diary of sorts on what you are going through while you are looking for your dream fashion job... Job seeking adventures in itself are often subject of stories in the NY Times and Wall Street Journal. I am sure WWD.com (You read this fashion trade pub, don't you?)  writes about fashion jobs too.  And you can be a part of those stories if you tell them about yourself.

All you have to do is read those publications, understand the issues that are being discussed and contact the reporters with your opinion always with the link to your blog.  

Also, never underestimate the power of charity events. Fashion executives are big players in philanthropy. Find what charities they support. Volunteer for those charity events.  

But remember, once you have some face time with the right fashion executive, you need to make a 2 min commercial for yourself and your blog can be a great commercial. So, establish your blog first, than go all the way out!   There are so much more you can do in personal PR, but this could be a good start.

Live your opinion in the comments or call Irina at 786-301-2456.

Luxury Miami. Family friendly Luxury Hotel Experience in Miami, South Florida.

Live your opinion in the comments or call Irina at 786-301-2456.

If you are a manger or a concierge for a luxury hotel in Miami, consider  offering our family entertainment to your family guests.

Inject some excitement with our balloon art experience and see if you will be able to make your guests happier.


Don't worry about paying us. We are sure we will be able to sort our financials down the road. 

Right now, let's just create more value for your luxury hotel guests.

We see it as a win(for you) - a win(for your clients) and a win (down the road for us)! A triple winner!

Live your opinion in the comments or call Irina at 786-301-2456.

Miami Affluent. Affluent Marketing, Selling to the Affluent. South Florida Affluent Marketing.

Live your opinion in the comments or call Irina at 786-301-2456.

Most of my clients are Miami and South Florida affluent. I work Ritz Carlton, Fisher Island,  Mar-a-Lago.. just to name a few well-known  luxury venues in South Florida.

I  am an upscale event entertainer. As part of my entertainment routine, I have  to dress up, walk around, talk to event participants as I create art objects right in front of them.

We talk just about anything and often exchange e-mails and phone numbers.  They asked for my business card to keep me in mind for their future events.

They give me their e-mails because they request some info to be forwarded to them.

I never really market anything to this group of very affluent buyers , except for my art entertainment that really markets itself just by being there. :-)

But keep building those affluent relationships year after year.

My clients, mostly affluent families with kids, are sophisticated, well-traveled affluent with a lot of purchasing power who love art, fashion, entertainment, who buy expensive real estate and travel to exotic places.

I thought that it would be a win-win situation if I could partner with luxury companies that want to market to this affluent South Florida group.

Just of the top of my head, I thought of jewelry or fashion gowns that I could "demo" during my events. It just two obvious choices, but I am open to any other ideas.

What I like about this way of marketing that it is elegant and discreet. The product is just there for everyone to notice. Everyone just loves to DISCOVER what they like and want. It is like if a sale is intended, a product loses some value. But if a product is discovered by chance it has an added value. :-)

And if your luxury product has visual and emotional appeal, it will be noticed. And questions will be asked and notes will be taken. All you have to do is present it.

I am willing to be that presenter of your luxury product to my captive audience of affluent party-goers. We can test and see if this marketing strategy will work for your product. What do you think?

Live comments bellow or call Irina at 786-301-2456

Miami: Use Art Event Entertainment to Make a Statement, Attract Media Coverage, Entertain and Inspire at Your Parties.

Irina knows most top event production companies in Miami and South Florida. If you are planning a party, an event marketing, need any other event services or looking for a great event venue in Miami, call Irina in Miami at 786-301-2456 for a completely free advice.



Art entertainment can do much more than simply to entertain. I was a vice president of a Coral Gables PR firm and like to share my public relations expertise.

For marketing events, you can use balloon art and body painting to get media attention. Unique art images can help to tell your company story. We know how to create stories. And how to tie everything together: your image, your mission and your messages.

 

We are open to any collaborative projects on event productions, especially in Miami, South Florida, where we are based.

 

We don't plan events, we are entertainers. But if you need anything to do with event productions, venue selection in South Florida, we've got proven contacts for you.

 

Our forte is upscale art events, museum events, weddings and out-of-this world bar mitzvahs. 

 

But we'll do with the same enthusiasm technology trade shows and corporate meetings.

 

Finally, if you are doing a great charity event, check with us. If we like it, we might just pitch in. We are based in Miami, South Florida. Another city we love is Las Vegas. But we pretty much work worldwide.

 

And don't hesitate to ask us questions. We pride ourselves on delivering outstanding value with creative and unique solutions.